Kim
address 1
address 2
adress 4
March 20, 2009
Dear XXXXX:
It was with great interest that I reviewed the Divisional Sales Manager position with Company ABC. I am confident that my work experience combined with my education makes me an excellent candidate for this position.
Over the course of my working experience, I have developed excellent presentation skills through daily presentations with C-level executives via web conference and occasional face-to-face presentations on business travel. I maintain a large account base from small to fortune 500 companies; my responsibilities include recommending marketing activities, creating email blasts to communicate new marketing initiatives, and following through to help execute on the campaigns. Previous work experience includes business to business cold calling, preparing quotes and creating contracts.
I understand the importance of meeting tight deadlines and accuracy to detail; I welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my qualification in greater detail and to show I would be a good fit for this position. Please contact me at your earliest convenience to arrange a meeting. Thank you in advance.
January 13th, 2010
I like it, you have a confident and direct approach! Sounds like that job has your name on it, good luck!
January 15th, 2010
“Fortune 500″ should be capitalized.
How do you “execute on” campaigns? What does that mean?
“business-to-business” should be hyphenated.
It’s either “accuracy” or “attention to detail”, not “accuracy to detail”
“qualifications”, not “qualification”
Just “thank you”, not “in advance”
January 16th, 2010
I would go back and make the necessary changes that have already been suggested to you with the addition of a period after “detail” instead of semi-colon.
Did you research this company before hand? If so, I would mention why you would like to work for them. Is it because they have a great track record for customer satisfaction? Do they make a great product. How exactly would your skills fit in? You mention your presentation skills, but what if this company doesn’t need anyone with those skills? A little research ahead of time is very valuable.
Good luck
January 16th, 2010
I’ve changed some punctuation in the last two paras and added some words……….. Over the course of my working experience, I have developed excellent presentation skills through daily presentations with C-level executives via web conference and occasional face-to-face presentations on business travel. I maintain a large account base from small to fortune 500 companies. My responsibilities include recommending marketing activities; creating email blasts to communicate new marketing initiatives, and following through to help execute on the campaigns. Previous work experience includes business to business cold calling, preparing quotes and creating contracts.
I understand the importance of meeting tight deadlines and accuracy to detail. I would very much welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my qualifications in greater detail and to show you I would be the ideal candidate for this position. Please contact me to arrange a mutually convenient date for us to meet.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely